I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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