Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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