dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
