There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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