But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
