Pants 0. Shit 1.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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