I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize