im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
