Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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