New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
soo... how was my night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
