There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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