Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
