Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
