Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just tell him i said nine months
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize
