One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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