I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
