Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
