I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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