Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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