So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
