I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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