this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
