I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
