listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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