I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
