Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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