I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
