I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
