dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
