U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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