Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
