I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
