Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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