Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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