but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
