No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
