ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
