you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
