I am midnight drunk by noon
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
