I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
