walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
