Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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