Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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