I wannas sexs uuuuu
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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