Whod you bang
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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