So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
