I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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