we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love having hate sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
