Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
