no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
