i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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