it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just want to make out with him forever
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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