So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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