he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
