Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
