You're completely useless in the revolution.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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