Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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